BeStillOcala

The chasm between what I know and what my heart believes.
I know the words, but does my heart believe them enough to fulfill them. I’m singing the abc’s, but it’s just a catchy tune I keep reciting. Are my steps in sequence enough to make the words to speak the sentences…to guide my steps…to apply their truth?
“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you”. (Psalm 119:11)
I know it, I quote, I might even hide it in my heart; but am I using it to not cause offense to him? Do I actually read the scriptures and apply them so that I do my best to live holy? I mean, isn’t that what the verse says. I’m holding on to your word and keeping it close to my heart for the purpose of doing my best to not sin against you.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”(Psalm 119:105)
I can quote it, but do I trust it? Have I put it in sequence with my daily steps so that those words have meaning.
If so, wouldn’t my steps be more secure and my direction more focused?
“Be anxious for nothing but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests..”(Phil 4:6)
I know it, I quote it….but how many times have I missed the application? Have I used the letters to make the words come to life? Or am I just reciting the alphabet?  What meaning do the words have in my life if I’m not using them to fulfill their purpose?

When what my brain can recite starts coming together with what my heart believes, the scriptures start becoming more applicable. Living, breathing, almost tangible.
“For I know the plans I have for you”(Jeremiah 29:11), starts to look a lot like hope and I can see light shining across the chasm.
When Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9
“…therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses…”, it sounds a lot more like strength and grace than defeat. When I actually believe that, “His grace is sufficient for me”, I can walk in freedom. Live in liberty.
Phil 4:8, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things”, this starts to breath instructions for peace.
You see, we know the scriptures and we quote them, but when they actually come alive in us they have the power to light the chasm.
The parable of the lost sheep, “he is happier about that one sheep than about the 99 that didn’t wander”, sounds a lot like hope and worth.
And the chasm from what I know and what my heart believes begins to fade as the truth of God’s word breaths life through the gap. And there, I’m free to live in the rhythm and the promise of God’s truth.

ABCDEFG…….

Being in a relationship with God isn’t about knowing scriptures. It is far less about memorization of verses and eloquent words spoken in prayer and more about how we connect to the promises of God. The Bible is a living breathing love letter the Father has sent to us. However, many times, I feel like we treat it as a piece of literature memorized for reciting on queue when we want to appear well versed or as ammunition to pack when defending our opinions. Or further, we quote it without ever really understanding the truth we recite. Never grasping the meaning in the flow of the words that roll so easily from our muscle memory. (Thank you Sunday school for engraving such scripture into our brains)
However, often times are we not like a child when learning their abc’s. They start off with what seems to be this long list of letters that really serve little purpose as they stand alone. But once learned and then brought together and applied, open an entire new world…words. The ABCs give us a catchy tune as we learn to sing them in order. But letters don’t fulfill purpose until you understand their sounds and the purpose they serve in structuring words and then ultimately formulating sentences.
It’s only once they’ve been given order or pattern that they take on meaning. Once we start applying them together and in specific sequences, this is when words come alive! Do we not, at times, live in this state of infancy with Scripture? God’s word playing like a catchy tune as we’ve memorize the alphabet so to speak. We recite the catchy tunes, but they are nothing more to us than a child reciting ABCs because we haven’t listened for what sounds they make in our life. What purpose they serve. We haven’t began applying what we know to make it mean anything in our day to day walk….

And here, here is where I stumble upon my next chasm….between what my mind knows and what my heart believes….

TO BE CONTINUED

And at the end of the day, I’ve found that the chasm between my faith and my fear is as close or as far in distance as the gap between me and my Father.
The closer I am to Him, the fewer fears arise within me. When in constant relation with my Rock, my steps are secure. My thoughts are focused. My distractions are few. My questions find answers. I seek and I find.
When I am in the wilderness, I tend to seclude myself. Obviously the wilderness is not over populated to begin with, but my nature is to recluse from everything, even my omnipresent Father. The chasm begins to grow; and thereafter, the gap between my faith and my fear follows. I find it difficult to step out on the next step as it seems I’d be attempting to leap between cliffs with one missed step leading to utter chaos or certain death.
I know, I know it’s just me, right?
So, as I stand and stare into that dark abyss, what does it take to realize all I have to do is look for my Father?
Call out across the chasm. Refocus on my Father. He’s there; standing, waiting with outstretched arms wide open. Full of strength, full of grace. Where He’s been all along waiting to connect with me. Gently tugging me towards the steps He’s ordained even when I’ve burrowed myself into a cave of fear and solitude. He beckons me. All I have to do is reach out. Call out. Take the step. But the only thing that can bridge that gap between my faith and my fear is my connection with the Father.

 

If I know Him, I love them.  I cannot say I know the Father and not love His children.  All of them, not just the one that looks like me, or thinks like me. Not just the ones that agree with me. Not just the ones that picked me to be part of their tribe.  Knowing Him requires me to love beyond my circle of comfort.  Knowing Him stretches me to love like Him.  To love people who I may not stand with in agreement. To love when I don’t understand.  When it’s easy but especially when it is hard.  I don’t have to compromise to love like the Father.  And you don’t have to agree with me to embrace that love.  If I know Him, I love like Him.

I can love like Christ without compromising His truth.  Jesus was submerged in the lives of the sick and hopeless. He was drawn to people lost in sin and drowning in brokenness. He loved the unlovable and defended the undeserving. But never once did He compromise His message or waiver in His mission.Our goal should be to reach out, lead and teach in the love of Christ. This doesn’t mean compromise the Word. Jesus was confident in His message. Steadfast on His mission. Unwavering in the necessity of salvation. Insuppressible in His call for repentance. There was limitless love and boundless acceptance, but also very clear lines of obedience and a finite standard as to the price of redemption. Loving first but beckoning a desire for right standing with Him.

Welcome.  If you are in search of anything specific, most likely it will not be found here.  In the midst of my half thoughts and impossible ramblings, I hope to give this space a calm that I tend to miss out on in my own craziness of living.  I am in zero parts a grammatical queen or connoisseur of the English language.  So, as I struggle to relay what I find in the stillness of every day living, my hope is that maybe just maybe something in you may click as well.  My prayer is that as I venture out to do what I feel led to do here, God may use it to help someone do what he’s called of them out there.

Psalm 46 has always felt like a personal invitation to me.  One inviting me, through all the chaos and uncertainty, to just be still.  To see not only the refuge and strength of our Almighty God, but to realize that no matter my surrounding, God will be exalted.  He is a refuge, He is strength, He is power.  It calls me to have faith to see beyond what is so easily consuming.  Psalm 46 feels like my invitation to peace, if only I just BE STILL and know.

May my words always carry with them the love of Jesus and may I be still enough to always know Him.